Frazzled

Jacob and I were talking the other night. He was telling me how grateful he is that he isn't a woman and therefore doesn't have to deal with all the lotions and potions and physiological goodies and toiletries that come with it. I told him I was glad I wasn't a man. If I was a man, I wouldn't be a mommy. Along this theme, I am quite certain men did not engineer the McDonald's PlayPlace. Quite simply because they are not mommies and didn't take into account how their little creation would affect women. Let me back up...

This afternoon all I wanted was to treat myself to a soda and let Kenna play in the PlayPlace. All was going well. I had a good phone chat with a great friend (love ya Ky!) and Allie was napping. Well, the conversation ended and shortly thereafter Allie woke up and was quickly getting very angry. That was my cue to get Kenna off the slide and head on home. Normally Kenna sticks to the perimeter of the play area, so I peeked up the slide expecting to see her. Just my luck, she has gone a little farther up. "Kenna sweetie, time to come down," I so kindly holler up. In response, she starts to cry. Nice. I try to coax her down, but she just keeps crying even more. Allie is her competition with a great little scream back at our table, so at this point I really needed Kenna to hurry down. My options were limited, so against my deepest desire to just be an adult and stay out of the child's toy, I decide to go around the first bend of the twisty slide to pull Kenna down. No luck, she's up farther. I'm pleading, "Please Kenna, Allie isn't happy we need to go get her." Kenna just keeps crying even louder. At this point I find myself stuck in an incredibly difficult spot. Figuratively and literally. As I am trying to keep myself positioned above the bend of the twisty slide without losing my grip, I look down the slide to hear my screaming infant, then look up to hear my wailing 2 year old. Hmm. Why the heck am I not a clone?! Think quick Britt! "Kenna, NOW!" No luck. Anger takes over and up I go, further into the slide. Another bend, no Kenna. Where is my child! AaAAAAH! Who invented this rotten playground? Men! I am imagining all the parents on the outside who could probably look up and see my shadowy figure slowly making its way up the slide. What's wrong with this picture? I haven't even mentioned the fact that I am trying to work my way around little kids who keep coming up and down the slide wondering what in the world I am doing in their domain. I thought, "Trust me my pint-size little friends, I would rather not be in your territory right now!" To make things even better, there is a strangely familiar foul stinky odor coming from up above. Yes, friends, Kenna has not only fixed herself at the top of the slide refusing to come down, but has managed to poop up there. After what seemed like climbing the 4-mile-long intestines of McDonald's, I found Kenna at the top of the slide and over the breezeway trying to go down another slide. From down below Allie is giving me the death scream. My life is going in slow motion. I try not to breathe in the smell as Kenna fortunately works her way over and I grab her leg. I've got her, now go Britt, go! Down we go the 40 million bends of the slide. I just couldn't get down fast enough. Trying to maintain some form of dignity, I pry myself out of the opening of the slide and drag Kenna over to rescue Allie. You are darn right everyone was looking at us. I'm trying to pretend to be a calm, cool mommy as I throw our stuff together to leave and never show my face in public again. BUT- the story does not end. Oh no, I have no such luck. Allie is hysterical, so to try to calm her down I pack us all into the bathroom to get some water to make a bottle. My hands can't move fast enough. The whole time Allie is screaming, Kenna is still crying, the bathroom has a horrible echo, and to top it off there is a ridiculous TV blaring at us above the sink. WHY IS THERE A TV IN THE BATHROOM? Is nothing sacred anymore?! Sweet relief- Allie starts on her bottle and calms down. Next: smelly toddler. I turn Kenna around and look down her diaper to survey the damage, only to find that she was obviously sitting down when she did her business. It has reached the top of her diaper and I have put my finger right in it. Inside I feel like a full moon has come out and I have turned into a ravenous werewolf. Aaarrrrgggh! The TV was still blaring and I wanted to just throw the changing table right at it! Take that, CNN! I just had to stay focused- change the diaper, get out of the store. I repeated it in my mind. Go to your happy spot! Finally, the diaper was changed, the baby was calm, and we exited the store and didn't look back. As I was driving away I had my initial thought: men obviously did not engineer that PlayPlace.

Okay, I admit it. I laughed on the way home as I imagined myself climbing up the slide. I would have never imagined all the adventures I would have being a mom. But I have to say, when I look at the sweet little pictures of my babies, just like this cute one of my little Allie, I think of how incredibly grateful I am to be a woman and a mommy to these beautiful little spirits. Even if it means contorting my body into the twisty slide at McDonalds.

Sister Love

I looked over at the girls the other day to find this last picture. Kenna had so lovingly placed Mr. Potato Head's glasses on Allie. Allie was so content to just hang out with her new accessory! What a great photo op. Very rarely does a day go by that I don't get a good laugh! Kenna is fortunate to have such a tolerant little sister. Poor Allie gets smothered, hugged, kissed, jumped on, rolled on, woken up to high-pitched squeals right in her face, and usually just sits there and smiles at Kenna. It will be fun to see their little relationship develop as they get older. We'll see if Allie's tolerance wanes.

There is a definite benefit to living down South. A short drive gets us to some excellent weather. We went on a hike yesterday near St. George and it was BEAUTIFUL! A gorgeous blue sky, awesome red cliffs, and me sporting a short sleeve shirt in February. How great is that? Last year for Memorial Day (yep, that's May for all you still freezing up North) we went down to Sand Hollow Reservoir and swam. Yes, folks, I'm talking swim suits, sunglasses, sunscreen, and sandcastles. If anyone feels like coming down to defrost, we are always up for company! We had a fun time yesterday and ended up running into some family friends from Young Ward and spent the afternoon with them. Kenna loved it and was Queen of the Trail! Jacob was King until he managed to take a little dive in a pond. We got to a spot where we would have to climb around water, so my little Eagle Scout decided to head on up to see if it was passable. I looked away just as I heard some passersby say, "he fell in!" I expected to look up and see Jacob standing in a little pool of water maybe up to his knees, but instead found him pulling his drenched body up and out of a pond that was up to his shoulders! Ha! It was classic. I am so sad I didn't have the camera recording just then, it would have been too good! Now let me point out that yes, the air temperature was nice, but let me also remind you that these ponds are full of freshly melted snow. Let's just say he was a little chilled. At least he came out unscathed and we all had a really good laugh in his behalf. Don't worry, he was laughing too. We're just hoping the cell phone recovers. It took a little swim too.

Have a great week all!

Still Here!

Yep, we're all still alive and well! It has just been a crazy past couple of weeks. Not one thing in particular necessarily, just a bunch of little things that add up. You'd think with all that busy-ness (um, you get it- forgive the spelling) I would have something better to write about. I really don't have anything exciting. I guess I'll just start rambling and see where it gets me.

I think we are officially experiencing the terrible two's. My goodness! It's like Jekyll and Hyde at our house lately with our sweet little firstborn. Kenna is learning to exert her independence and she will push and push as hard as she can. If she can find one weensy teensy way of getting her way, then she goes to town with it. I'm becoming quite familiar with tantrums. To make it even more enjoyable, she is incredibly tenderhearted. She doesn't get her way, she throws a fit. She gets "redirected" and throws a fit and wants some love at the same time. Go figure. What a child! Jacob is already dreading having teenage girls. But, as Grandma Shelly stated, perhaps she will get it all out of her system now. I'll hold you to it, mom Otte! Our girls have flip-flopped. Now Allie is usually always happy and Kenna is the one usually crying. Perhaps I prayed too hard? A nasty little trick being played on me here? Ha! Just kidding. We're only just beginning....

So last week I realized I had a bunch of tapes from our camcorder that haven't been labeled, so Kenna and I spent the good part of the day reviewing tapes and labeling them. Kenna was absolutely enthralled! She kept calling herself Allie. It was so weird to look back at video of Kenna when she was Allie's age. I can't believe how much I have forgotten. It definitely made me grateful for the footage we have. I have to laugh, we are such typical first-time parents. On our tapes the majority of the labels are something like "Kenna in swing, Kenna in saucer, Kenna in crib, Kenna in jumper, Kenna playing, Kenna cooing" on and on. I sure hope some unsuspecting victim doesn't get stuck at our house when we pull out the old videos for Family Home Evening some night. Boooorrrrriiiinnnggg! At least we as a little family can appreciate it, right?

Well, not too exciting, but at least it's an update. Enjoy your Valentine's with all your smoochy woochy lovey dovey goodness! We just might treat ourselves to a night out at IHOP. Ha! Now THAT, my friends, is true love. What says love more than the rooty tooty fresh and fruity? Ah. Little cupid strikes my wee tender heart every time with that one.