It has been fun this past week to watch a little bit of the Olympics. So to keep alive the Olympic spirit in my home, I give you
The Mommy Olympics. **Good afternoon America, we are here LIVE from the famous downtown of Enoch, Utah. There sure is excitement in the air as we begin the umteenth annual
Mommy Olympics. You know, this event dates clear back to Eve as she started out as the world's first mommy. Tradition holds strong as moms all over the world continue to show impeccable skill and precision in maintaining some form of peace and harmony in the home. Let's see how mommy holds up in 2008.
EVENT #1: SWIMMINGWelcome to those of you tuning in as we broadcast our first event Saturday night here at the ever-popular bathtub. You all know how the song goes, Saturday is a special day and mom is gearing up to get ready for Sunday. Here we go in 3, 2, 1... and Mommy is off! My goodness there are two little squirmers in the tub, I don't know if she can pull this one off. Whoa! Look at that form as she whips out the baby wash. Water is splashing all over, I don't think she can even see! But she is sure holding up as baby #1 is washed and ready for the shampoo. There is a lot of screaming here, that is one grumpy baby! Here comes the rinse..... she's running behind, she'll really have to make up some time on the toddler. Scrub #2 is going a bit smoother, she's even getting a little help from the 2-year-old. Mom is showing excellent maneuver skill as she dodges a fast one from the flying rubber duckie. She is sure picking up time here as she washes her last set of hair. Can she do it? She picks up hooded towel 1... now towel 2.... she's pulled the plug and OH! Mom gets the girls out of the tub in record time! Dad doesn't even have time to make it in the house to help! Mommy is soaked, but those girls are ready for bed. Gold Medal #1! Watch out Michael Phelps, mommy is in town.
EVENT #2: CURLINGThis event has proven to be a real time-consumer for mommy. It seems she constantly has a broom in her hand. The girls are occupied in the back, it's the perfect time. Mommy has to be swift before the girls realize they can come destroy the dirt piles. And she's off! Look at that broom go, it's all a blur folks! She sweeps left, she sweeps right, the piles are growing quickly. Here's the real challenge... can mom get to that cheerio that rolled under the table and is stuck in the corner? I hear the girls, they're heading this way. You better hurry mom! And she's got the cheerio in the pile! Uh-oh, missed a piece of 4-day-old hot dog on the floor under the high chair. She sees it... look at her whip that broom around! I have never seen a broom do that before! She's got the dustpan, but the girls are coming in.... She sweeps pile 1, pile 2, pile 3, pile 4, and pile 5 and scoops up the last of it just as a little hand dives in. She did it! The dustpan is emptied into the garbage can just in time as Mommy scores her second Gold!
EVENT #3: HURDLESMommy is finding that there is always something lying around on the floor. She's geared up and ready as she attempts her 3rd medal. It's 5:00 and Mom is getting ready to sit down on the couch and rest for the first time today. She is sitting down in 3,2,1.... and there is the scream from the baby in the bedroom. Mommy is off and running! She is really picking up speed as she heads for her first hurdle. Oh my it's a big one. She better get some good air so she can make it over that baby-doll stroller. She's up and.....lands perfect! No time to rest for hurdle #2, the pile of blankies. Way to clear it mommy! Look at her go as she jumps right over the choo-choo train, the shoes, the stuffed animals, and the sippy cup. She shows quite a stride on the last hurdle as she gets her left leg just barely up and over the toddler. Mommy makes it in record time to wipe a tear and give a love to the baby who just got whacked by big sister. Way to go mom! And WOW- Did you see her red face as she tried to count to ten and not yell at big sister for hitting the baby? What sportsmanship mommy! The medals are really adding up here for mommy. We'll see if she can keep her winning streak alive.
EVENT #4: SHOTPUTThe Mommy Olympics sure has some dirty events that challenge even the best mother. The diaper has been changed and boy is it a smelly one! Let's take a look at the track mom needs to finish to get the Gold. She'll start in the back bedroom by the changing table, then head down the hallway, round the corner into the kitchen, head out the back door and lastly throw the diaper trying to make it into the narrow opening of the garbage can. It's a tough one, can she do it? Mom's got the diaper in hand.... hold your breath, the fumes will slow you down mommy! Ready, set, and GO! She's out the door of the bedroom at top speed. Down the hallway... Watch out for daddy in the road!... She skids around the corner.... Time is ticking.... She can't hold her breath much longer...Almost to the door... Whoa! She sure is flying as she gets ready for the toss....She pulls her arm back and there is the throw. It's going, going..... and I CAN'T BELIEVE IT! The diaper bounces off the rim of the garbage can and barely makes it in! Mom scores again! The crowd goes wild as everyone takes a big breath!
EVENT #5: FENCINGMommy has the knife in hand. The crowd is anxious. It's 6:30 and the family is sure hungry. Can she get dinner on the table before the starving group lands into a famished heap? And the microwave beeps... She's off! The microwave flies open as mommy grabs the defrosted chicken. Look at that meat slap down on the cutting board! The knife is flying as mommy cuts up the chicken and throws it in the fry pan. Holy Cow! Watch out folks, here come the vegetables. That woman sure can handle a knife, look at her go! Chop! Slice! Watch your fingers mommy! And the veggies are in to cook. The table is set as mommy throws the hot pad on the table.... Here comes the chicken.... Mom better show some hustle and grab the tortillas warming in the oven... Family is at the table.... Uh-oh, run back quick to the fridge for the sour cream... And she's done it again! I don't believe it! Fajitas are on the table and ready to eat at 6:59! Another world record for Mommy! Once again Mommy scores Gold with dinner.
Thanks for tuning in folks! Once again we are wowed as mommy manages to keep it all together. We send a big hoorah for all those great moms out there who keep scoring Gold. Join us again tomorrow as we start the Mommy Olympics all over again....